Things you just have to laugh at (shorts) by TracyVW

The neighborhood I grew up in was so tough. The sign in the local library (Sunkist Library) said, “Shut the Fuck Up”! ( :

 

When I scream in a library everyone just stares. When I scream on an airplane everyone joins in! =P TracyVW

 

This ONE is for MY BELOVED GRANDPA! - Vladimir V. Putin (born 7 October 1952) 

 

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity.

 

To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 degrees Celsius.

 

The Russians used a pencil.

 

I'm allergic to stupidity and often "break out" in sarcasm once exposed.... =D TracyVW 

 

Follow your heart if you must, but take your freaking brain with you too... =D TracyVW

 

 Eat "organic food", or what your grandparents used to call, "food".... =D TracyVW

 

It’s not what’s in your head, but what your head’s inside of....TracyVW :-D

 

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.... TracyVW 😄

 

I try and take life one day at a time.

Every once in a while a few days get together and gang up on me.🙂  TracyVW

 

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced. TracyVW

 

Sometimes it seems the whole world is against me. Deep down I know it's not true, there are a few smaller countries that are still neutral and TWO LARGE ones that actually support me..  ;-) TracyVW

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Reasons I check my voicemail: 1% to hear the message. 99% to get rid of that annoying icon. =)TracyVW 

 

Stop, drop and roll, an effective fire safety technique, but also a memorable way out of a boring conversion...=D TracyVW 

 

What if the light at the end of the tunnel needs a new bulb?? =) TracyVW 

 

A man was telling his neighbor," I just bought a new hearing aid." " It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art." "It's perfect, in fact." "Wow, that's great", responds the neighbor. "What kind is it?" MAN "twelve thirty".... =) TracyVW 

                    

Little Dude gets on a city bus, sits right behind the driver, and starts talking loudly, 'If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow, I'd be a little bull.'  The driver gets annoyed as Little Dude continues to yammer on. 'If my dad was an rooster and my mom a hen, I would be a little chick.'  Little Dude goes on and on with all the animals he knows.

 

 when finally, the bus driver yells, 'What if your dad was a bum and your mom was a drunk?' 

 

Little Dude smiles and says, 'I'd be a bus driver... :0) TracyVW 😵

 

If you cannot laugh at this, you are still confused.

1976 Story from Traci

This was probably shorty before the first Ascension of 1977. Traci began praying (really talking) to God again. Traci was remembering her “power to redirect words” based upon the beings true intensions. This was for those

“Stewarded” under my “care”. So mainly my parents. (Funny, shit right there) So one night before bed, I was explaining to God how:

  1. I changed some “words and their category” based on my Dad’s true intensions. So the word “fuck” is now a word for “love and forgiveness”. My Dad cannot refrain from its use for more than 5 minutes, and he doesn’t understand that it affects the energy of the “house”. As “effect” the phrase “Fuck Off” shall be a “term of endearment” and its effect may multiply in an environment in which there is “interference”.
  2. I also changed the word “shit”. Shit now means, clear the space of “all non-intended negative energy”. As this is exactly the reaction to encountering such “energy”. For clarity, God I must explain that it is possible to use the word “shit” as a purposeful “word of curse”, so in this case, I do not allow this “change”. If a person says, “you are a piece of shit”, this is not a “cleansing command”. Oh, “shit” or “I need to pick up all this shit”, is a phrase of cleansing.

This “place” is really crazy, and the “grownups” are very confused. I know we have a “perfect plan” and that I will be home soon.

So I pray to you for the strength I need to handle all this fuckin shit until then.

I love you and ALL of your “creatures”, Amen